Played tennis again today. Felt pretty anxious because I was already pretty sore from working out at the gym twice over the weekend. I was afraid I would over-exhaust myself and get some panic symptoms.
As expected, I got the usual rapid heartbeat, out of breathedness, dry-mouth, some dizziness, and that feeling that you might not be able to catch your breath. I mean, that's to be expected when you're running up and down the court for a whole hour. Sprinting, hitting the ball, sprinting, etc. This time though, instead of ignoring the feelings, I completely let myself feel the effects. The feeling I think I'm most sensitive to is the choking feeling/feeling like I can't breathe. So while I faced this feeling, I had a flashback to my days back at UCLA. I remember whenever I would start my day and head towards the bus to take to campus, I would have a panic attack and I felt like I was going to puke. I felt like I was dryheaving and my eyes would water. It's weird how that memory hit me right then and there. Like I was peeling back layers of fear and memories as I faced the symptoms.
I feel much more empowered now when dealing with panic symptoms. I feel like I'm facing them head-on instead of just deep breathing and relaxing myself through them. I've been getting by pretty well using my relaxation techniques, positive self-talk and just overall ignoring my symptoms. But now that I'm doing this whole, "let - myself - thoroughly - experience - each - symptom - without - any - thoughts - of - escaping - from - them" thing, I think I'm making even more progress than ever before.
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