Challenge #1: CAAA Dinner

So, I feel really good about how challenge #1 went. I had a notebook with me to take notes on the lecture, so I was able to make notes on my anxiety at the same time. I tracked my level of anxiety from 0-10, 10 being the highest level of anxiety, i.e. a full-blown panic attack, and 0 being completely relaxed, i.e. almost falling asleep.

5:20 Anxiety level 6. Anticipating my dad picking me up to head over to Watsonville for the CAAA dinner over at the restaurant. About 20 lawyers will be there with a well-known Internal Medicine doctor giving us a presentation. I have never been to the restaurant and I don't know Watsonville very well.

5:30 Anxiety level 7. Dad picks me up and we start heading towards Watsonville.

5:45 Anxiety level 7. Stuck behind a truck on the highway. Going about 30 mph in traffic in an area I don't know.

6:00 Anxiety level 8. Arrived at the restaurant. Feeling a little shaky. I'm greeted by the CAAA president. I make a few jokes despite feeling nervous.

6:15 Anxiety level 7. I'm seated, making conversation with different people at the table. I'm drinking alot of water. I tend to get dry mouthed when I'm nervous.

6:30 Anxiety level 5. Lecture started. I'm starting to feel comfortable.

6:45 Anxiety level 3. My steak and salad are brought to me. I'm comfortable enough to have an appetite. I eat and take notes.

7:00 Anxiety level 2. Taking notes on the lecture.

7:23 Anxiety level 5. Having thoughts about feeling "trapped" because the bill isn't paid yet and needing to go to the restroom in the middle of the lecture. I drank too much water.

7:25 Anxiety level 4. I feel less anxious all of a sudden.

7:35 Anxiety level 3. Lecture is finished, bill is being paid.

7:40 Anxiety level 2. I have an epiphany: my goal should be to try to make more conversation and stay longer than anticipated. If I make this a habit, then it will counteract my habit of wanting to leave the situation as early as possible.

7:45 Anxiety level 2. Proud of myself for not overeating. Left 1/3 of my steak on the plate. Noticed that the lecturing doctor did not eat most of his meal. Maybe he was nervous about lecturing.

7:55 Anxiety level 1. Everyone is getting up to leave.

8:00 Anxiety level 1. Heading back to Salinas. Taking a new route back home but I'm not bothered. Everytime I have anxiety that goes up as high as 7+, I feel great if I just let it pass and I feel stronger the rest of the night.

Anyway, I got home and felt great. I hope all my future challenges go this well.